Doctor Pretend Gifts

"You want a generic or a regular sugar pill?"

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

'Will you raise my allowance? I want to play doctor but can't afford the malpractice insurance.'

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

'This is your spinal column...It's a bunch of bones that runs up and down your back and keeps your legs from going all the way up to your neck.'

"He wants to be a plastic surgeon when he grows up."

"I'm afraid you have a condition called 'googly-eyes'."

'All of our Little Doctor medical kits are on sale. Since the Healthcare bill passed, sales of the kits have been poor.'

'Stop purring I can't hear your heart beat.'

Kids Playing Doctor.

"Let's play make-believe. I'll diagnose you with a life-threatening illness, then cure you with a wonder-drug that turns out to be a placebo."

"Jonathan! I've told you not to put your space toys in the freezer and pretend they're on the ice planet!"

'No, you won't live longer if you give up sex and alcohol. But it'll seem like it.'

'Hi, I'm Dr.Jones. Sorry about my little prank, but it saves us a fortune in enemas.'

'Maggots.' - playing doctor

'Dr. Federson has performed this procedure so many times, he could do it blindfolded with one hand tied behind his back. Show him, doctor.'

"Norton! Put that back at once!"

"Take a pill in the morning, in the afternoon and at night."

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

"I am not the famous heart surgeon, but I am in his medical group."

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

Disorderlies

'No, you don't have hemorrhoids. You have a case of himorrhoids, has your husband been a pain in the butt, lately?'

"So Dr. Gracie...how are your patients today?"

'I'm giving you a referral to Bobby Smith down the street.'

"Bobby Linderman - now, there's a doctor."

"Do you want to speak to the man in charge or the nurse who knows what's going on?"

"I've just performed a tonsillectomy on Daddy while he was asleep."

'Did you find someone to practice your first aid on, dear?'

Boy playing doctors puts his sick dog to bed.

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

Patient to Doctor: 'This may hurt a little.'

"How cute! Our technician photo-bombed your X-ray!"

"We're pretty sure it was the dissolving stitches."