Divorcee Seeking Romance Gifts

Someday, my Ron Perelman will come.

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

"My ex wife is a heart surgeon. . . she ripped my heart out!"

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

'Your 'ex' seems to be doing well.'

"We've done volcano and twister. We need another movie about a natural disaster and my first marriage came to mind."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

Staying Single Explained.

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

As part of the divorce settlement, Bob takes over his ex-wife's small business.

'I feel sorry for you single people. Nobody to go home to fight with.'

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

"Lover’s leap" "Wife toss"

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

Lawyer: 'She got the house, he got the money, and somehow, I ended up with the kid.'

Computer Aided Divorce.

'I've been living out of a tin since my wife left me.'

"She said she needed more space, so she left me!"

"Separate clouds, please."

'Yes, I once swore my love for him - now I just swear at him'

'I've had a series of unfortunate marriages.'

'My date last night reminded me of my ex-husband - turns out that's who he was!'