Divorcee Seeking Romance Pillows

Someday, my Ron Perelman will come.

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

',,,But if I do eat them I'll lose my child support, Oh, Alice,divorce is so hard,'

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

"My ex wife is a heart surgeon. . . she ripped my heart out!"

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Bartender: 'Bad day, huh?' Man: 'I'll say. My vindictive ex-wife just won sole custody of my inner child.'

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

"We've done volcano and twister. We need another movie about a natural disaster and my first marriage came to mind."

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

'Don't hate me just because I hate you.'

'Your 'ex' seems to be doing well.'

The Gayhorns

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

Staying Single Explained.

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

"At least I got half the Twitter followers in the divorce."

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

As part of the divorce settlement, Bob takes over his ex-wife's small business.

'No, it's not number four either, but he does look like my ex-husband. Yeah, let's go with number four.'

'I feel sorry for you single people. Nobody to go home to fight with.'

"Lover’s leap" "Wife toss"

"Nobody ever talks about how when you marry a human at 16, you might divorce by 30 and have to move back to the sea."

Lawyer: 'She got the house, he got the money, and somehow, I ended up with the kid.'

'I've been living out of a tin since my wife left me.'

"She said she needed more space, so she left me!"

Computer Aided Divorce.

"Separate clouds, please."

'I've had a series of unfortunate marriages.'

'Yes, I once swore my love for him - now I just swear at him'