Newly Divorced Pillows

'Computer dating? I want my money back. You fixed me up with my first wife.'

Marriage least expected to last...

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

The Gayhorns

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

Birthdays were always better at Mom's.

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

"... and to my husband I leave f*** all!"

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

'I feel sorry for you single people. Nobody to go home to fight with.'

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

"Lover’s leap" "Wife toss"

Lawyer: 'She got the house, he got the money, and somehow, I ended up with the kid.'

"It was ugly, she got custody of the tin cans, chewed tyre and the rusty bike pump... And I got the kids!"

"Separate clouds, please."

"She’s getting the house and cars, but you get to retain all your unique streaming services passwords."

'My date last night reminded me of my ex-husband - turns out that's who he was!'

"Actually, I'm not long back on the dating scene myself."

'I've been living out of a tin since my wife left me.'

"It's through our attorneys, but at least we're talking."

A man in an armchair is being carried away by rubbish removers, as his wife waves him off.

Betty's Ex, Ray, Glasses.

Divorcees Club - The Joy of Ex.

'I can't ta;l now, you moron. Your alimony check is in the mail!'

'You again? -- what went wrong this time?'

"That reminds me- how's your mother?"

'I'm sorry, but it's strictly against my policy to hire a former husband.'

"As per the terms of my divorce, my ex-wife will conduct the final movement."

'Quit whining about your divorce settlement! You're not the only one, you know!'

"I hope you don't mind. I used the same recipe that made me crazy enough to marry my first wife."