Disaster Dramatists Gifts

"Where's the fire, pal?"

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Henrik Ibsen,

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"No word from the company – but, it's clear that this is a major spill."

'I forgot to cancel the milk!'

"Ya know, that cork was there for a reason."

Rats deserting a sinking ship

"Well, we could just tell everyone we have an indoor pool!"

"Find out who's got the licensing rights for this Armageddon thing and get them on the phone - quickly."

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

I know they told me not to bark

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

Suez Canal Curse

"Hurry up and make a wish. Your cake's in there."

'To be honest, I don't think the garden does need it anymore.'

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'My client's defense is that the bank was an attractive nuisance.'

Paramedics carrying a man away after his dinner.

Man with mobile phone says: 'I can't call for help, I'm filming this for the TV news.'

'Unusual weather for June'

"OK, now here comes the lava."

Stretcher Header.

Tony Hayward.

One of Indonesia's most feared Volcanoes: The mighty 'Kraka-toe-a'.

"Has anyone seen my therapist?"

"Yes you successfully removed the trip hazard, but with hindsight..."

Pack Your Bags

Luck

'Some day, son, all of this will be your ex-wife's.'

'One day, this will make a wonderful metaphor.'

'Wanted for Arson: El ni?o'

'. . . If you need immediate help with the floods I understand Mrs Miggins at No. 9 has a canoe!'