Divine Dramatists Gifts

Smoke break in Heaven

Football of the gods!

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"O Lord—why art thou such a drama queen?"

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

'Hon, I'm home!'

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"Beware of God"

Angel doing the hula hoop.

"They have to clean her up before they show her to God."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Sorry, I can't - I have to be everywhere."

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Heaven's Ingredients: 100% Natural Love, 100% compassion and 100% forgiveness.

And the Lord said: 'I created the universe. What on earth makes you think I'll be impressed by a dead goat?'

"The first bill is always a shock-everyone thinks Heaven will be free."

"No, it's not a to-do lost."

'Why is it when ever we have guests, you have to go and make a scene?'

"Well, son, in a way, I suppose Jesus was a trust-fund baby."

"I stand corrected..."

"Relax, I grade on the curve."

"I hate his 'holier than thou' attitude."

"Hey, this is a good bit- did I say that?"

Shakespeare's housework

''Intelligent design'? -- Why, those patronizing little twerps!'

"And on the eighth day, the Lord just puttered around..." "That cloud doesn't belong there. Did I do that? I'd better move it..."