Debt Dramatist Gifts

"It's people like you, Mr. Evers, constantly living beyond your means, getting so hopelessly deeper and deeper into debt, to whom our industry owes eternal gratitude."

"I don't suppose you could settle up before you go?"

'Don't panic, folks! It's red ink, not blood!

"He had just paid off his student loan."

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Henrik Ibsen,

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

The Perfect Foil

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Fish has mercury, meat has e-coli, veggies have pesticides, desserts cause obesity...so we'll have the health-concious nothing for dinner' special.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Hello, Ebeneezer! It's me - the ghost of coming dinner!'

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

Performance In The Bedroom

"Impartiality becomes you."

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

I can read this audit, but HOW should I read it...What is my MOTIVATION, how do I bring these figures to life,make them sing!... Colin often wondered whether accountancy had been the right career choice for him

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'After you with the camouflage.'

'Are these mushrooms or toadstools? And why are you holding a stomach pump?.'

'What's this? You're suing me because the prescribed medication made you 'irrationally exuberant' in a down market?'

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

"Let me give you the Heimlich. That always gets the waiter's attention."

"We can't put you in a Witness-Protection Program unless you actually witnessed something."

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

Closing arguments.

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

'Now, then -- would you prefer a speedy trial or an accurate trial.'

Alarming symptoms after eating boiled beef and gooseberry pie

What do overcrowded prisons say about defense lawyers?

"It's a profit and loss statement. Read it with gusto!"