Desk Dramatist Gifts

'Not another tough crossword puzzle.'

"Did someone just shout 'sinkhole!!!'?"

Southwark Fair.

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Objection, Your Honor! Alleged killer whale."

Shake it all about sign on desk

Canned laughter for sale in Theatrical Supplies shop.

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

Comedy and tragedy masks

Jack-a-box in the theatre.

A man taking a bow

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

Henrik Ibsen,

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

"Leon, honey, you break all the rules of dramaturgy."

"In closing, I would like to remind the jury that he says he didn't do it."

"The jury didn't buy my defense that CEOs just want to have fun."

'Shakespeare, what do you say we write a comedy?'

The token incompetent: "Hey - don't ask me."

During his financial report to the board of directors, Ted hits the poignancy button by mistake.

'I'll be a little late with those reports, sir -- my desk organizer crashed.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

Eugene Ionesco

The Modern Godot

'Sir, I've got a computer to avoid a giant mess but unfortunately I can't find the computer in this giant mess!'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

James Barrie.

"Twenty five years! But your honor,

"Impartiality becomes you."

John Masefield.

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'In this next precedent, an attorney lost his frivolous lawsuit complaint and his opponent then filed a frivolous 'frivolous lawsuit' lawsuit.'

'Just tell him two quarts of milk and a pint of cream, Will- it doesn't have to be a sonnet.'

Oscar Wilde

A Lawyer's Closing Arguments Wins the Support of the Jury