Disappointment Humorist Gifts

"Surprising me- that's your life's work."

"Hang on, isn't this the second pair of zebras we've had today?"

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

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The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"This new system is too complex...pass it on."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"Times are perfect for us masochists!..."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'I think we're going to have to add another storey downstairs...'

'Due to budget cutbacks, we need to get by with less.'

Music Quiz

"I like a diet rich in surfers."

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

"He is stingy. If he is giving gold it's only because prices have hit rock-bottom..."

'Cannibalism has always repulsed me - until i tasted Aunty Judy's knees'

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

'Don't you hate people who blatantly use office parties to network?'

"Wow, 27, not bad! Me, I've ruined 53 surfing competitions..."

Shy Man at Party

'Excuse me, sir, I know you didn't get your bonus, your house is mortgaged to the hilt, you have two kids in college, your employer is facing bankruptcy and . . .'

'Can you dance?'

"I didn't see anything! I swear!"

'Personally, I thin the downsizing went too far.'

Artist, sitting in front of a sign identifying a bridge as a draw bridge, draws the bridge.

"Can you hear me now?"

'I can't afford those prices so would you call me when France goes broke and devalues its currency?'

Convergent Fauna

'Violin in the shape of a nude.'

Death model.