Mournful Humorist Gifts

''Larry this' and 'Larry that'. . . And no one has anything nice to say about the hole.'

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Oh, great - They changed the Meaning of Life again."

Barman In Love.

Phoenix

"What if my inner demons want to write about bunnies?"

'I'll never forget you, Vince -- My therapist says it would be counterproductive to try.'

Caterpillars in love

'His Trout Almondine Veal Cordon Blue in mushroom sauce was crudely seasoned.'

"In mitigation, Sunny Chemicals would like to point out that prior to contracting his skin allergy, Mr Crumb was already ugly."

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'She kept pinching the Vicar's bum!'

A dog with a heart shaped hole in his body

Death Watch

Surgeon Finds Heart Reading 'Be my Valentine'.

Valentines

I know you can't forget, but you should learn to forgive...

Tunnel of Love - LGBT Friendly.

Preserved head and mobile phone.

"Ooh, Igor — a dead rat! You shouldn’t have!"

Headstone in bird cage, "We really loved our budgie.."

"I know you're a brain cell, but can't you act more like a heart cell?"

"They’re burying him with his Xanax."

Kissing Hands

Vulture waiting outside a failing business.

"What can I say? Tough split."

'It might be all right for some but I'll not have anyone tinkering with my subconscious. Anyway, supposing they found I hadn't got one!'

"Help! I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"I'd really let myself go. I hadn't shaved in days."

'You can come back as a zombie OR a ghost, Randy, but not both.'

A heart flies out during an operation.

"This here is a little number I wrote when I recovered a repressed memory."