Dinner Time Humorist Gifts

'Your French dip, sir.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

"Knife...fork..."

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

'Alright. I get it. You're a doctor!'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

'We had that last night.'

Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

'Eat your vegetables, or you'll go mad like your father!'