Dinner Time Humorist Pillows

'Your French dip, sir.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"I am off duty, but the body cam allows me to discreetly take photos of my meal."

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'Alright. I get it. You're a doctor!'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

Try to cut down on your salt intake.

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

'We had that last night.'

"We're gonna need a bigger gravy boat!"

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"

"Darling, can you pass me the salt and the pepper spray?"

Jennifer was never particularly comfortable breast feeding in public so she would often ask Cameron to create a diversion.

'Eat your vegetables, or you'll go mad like your father!'

'...and thank you for not outstaying your welcome.'