Dinner Time Comedian Pillows

'No, we said it yesterday. This is leftovers.'

'Maybe we should try killing them first, and then cooking them.'

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

'Your French dip, sir.'

Selfish shellfish - 'You kids share your food and stop being shellfish!'

'Bless this food we are about to receive, all except the broccoli. Bless the apple pie twice.'

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"J'entends le poulet qui arrive!"

'Do you have any wine from the Ming dynasty?'

'The doctor said I was ready for solids, but not this solid!'

"Knife...fork..."

'Self service.' 'How much do I tip myself?'

"Oh, don't worry about that—it only goes off when someone taps 'no tip.'"

"You folks like a little something?"

'What's your favourite meal?' 'Seconds.'

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

"I try not to be picky, but this meal is a bit too sticky!"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

Today's special - Ox tail soup.

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Freezer is on the blink.'

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'I'll have 40 percent of what he's having.'

"My husband's a surgeon, he can't let go of his work."

"Ryan, are you giving your vegetables to the Roomba again?"