Dinner Time Jokester Gifts

'Waiter there is a candlestick in my soup!'

Couple sharing the plastic widget from a pizza box like a chicken's wish bone

'Your French dip, sir.'

Don't go out in the rain without an umbrella....was probably not 'his idea' of a tip, dear!'

"John, wake up, I think the mattress has stopped breathing."

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Your dinner's on the table and yours is under the table."

'No, I don't need a doggy bag, but how about a kitty bag?'

All you can eat chicken $3.95: "Cooked is 20 dollars extra."

'If you mean Janet, she works the late shift.'

'Can't we have something other than curry for a change?'

"Waiter! - this soup tastes funny!"

'Waiter! There's no hair in my soup!'

'I didn't find a finger in my chili!'

"When dad cooks dinner, it's hard to tell if he's opening cans for us or the cat."

"Honey, will you text grace, please?"

"Are you sure this is the Irish guacamole?"

"If you must paw something, why don't you hit the snooze button?"

'Do you happen to have a scratch-and-sniff menu?'

'I'm glad I don't like spinach because if I liked it I'd eat it and I hate the stuff!'

"Just a heads up...the chicken paprikash is camera shy."

'Frank! Cut that out and get back to work!'

"Can I get you your bill sir?"

"Snowflake, quit eyeballing me!"

'Charles, what did I tell you about bringing your work home?'

The PARTISAN CAFE: "For or against section?"

'How many times have I told you not to talk with your mouth full?'

'Tartar sauce?! Heaven no. My dentist would kill me.'

'Everyone loves Christmas...except the turkey!'

"... And would sir like a straw with that?"

"Ladies ladies, please. There's enough of me to go around."

'If it tastes just like chicken... I'd rather have chicken.'

'If I'm not mistaken; aren't these the left-overs from last night's left-overs, from...'

"I'm sorry, sir. That's the children's menu."