Dining Drama Queens Gifts

"House red, sir?"

Careful, the plate's probably still hot.

"Yes I know, and you dropped sauce on your shirt."

"I'm not trying to freak you out, but your eel roll is moving."

'We'll get our food....eventually.'

Foodies at a Diner. We'll have the alphabet soup, unless it's Helvetica or Times New Roman.

'The tax and tip I understand, but what's this charge for shipping and handling?'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

Woman on diet being chased by temptation.

'No more beans this week, I think, Matilda.'

'Trouble cutting pickled onions.'

'I hear there's a fly in your soup?'

"What will change my life?"

"Hi again. Can I just check whether you enjoyed me interrupting your meal five minutes ago to ask whether you were enjoying your meal?"

'Still antsy about the new diet I put you on?'

How to keep your man healthy: 'No sex 'til you eat your vegetables!'

"Waiter, there's a fly in my soup, and ironically, there's also a crouton in my s**t."

"How was the food sir?"

"Waiter - this dish doesn't contain enough adjectives..!"

"How's everything?"

"Good evening, my name is Hank. I'm your waiter tonight. This is Eddy, he is our cooks' lawyer."

"Here are Monsieur Limace, our sommelier, Monsiere Juron, chef de Cuisine and Mr Kruigshenk, specialist for the beheading of breakfast eggs."

"Why do you always fall for these totally unobtainable types?"

"Now the teeth! Huge...savage teeth!!"

"Quick! Tiptoe out and phone the Fire Service!"

Now squeeze sharply five times - that should dislodge the tip from his coat pocket.

"Why, yes, I am 'still working on that.' You know what I'm not working on? Your gratuity!"

'I was doing REALLY well, and then I sleepwalked last night and at a 20-pound bag of potatoes!'

'A fly in your soup, eh? -- Call me if it gets any worse.'

"I had to bite him once, but now I always get a great table."

Fly at the tennis club cafe.

'If you're in a hurry, why did you order the snails?'

'You did ask for the wine steward - now grovel, man, grovel!'

'Can you send this back to the kitchen. It's cold.'

"There, dammit. Is that enough pepper for you??"