Digital Devotee Gifts

"Cell phone...must...have...cell...phone."

Computer with owner on a leash like a dog

Multitaskers Anonymous: We're All Mostly Listening

'It's internet addiction, doctor. We have him hooked up to a USB.'

"Why would I want to see anything that far away from my phone?"

'Do you John promise that your schedule, please put your iPhone away, will never be more important than your times together?'

"You have tiny websites burned onto your retinas!"

'Noooooooo! Please don't kill my phone!'

'Your Honor, I'd like to request a short recess so I can update my Twitter page.'

"Please turn on your cell phones."

'If your smartphone is your significant other, I'm afraid this more serious than I thought.'

"Its's a beautiful day. Why don't you play outside?"

"You have Tech-neck."

"I'll never forget you."

A couple in bed together with their phones.

"Once I'm connected, we should be able to see each other."

'She purchases all of her supplies online. She does all her schmoozing in chat rooms. she downloads all her jokes from the web. She has no need to deal with salesmen.'

You've been staring at that screen all day. Why don't you do something else?

Danger: Fall Hazard

'Now will you pay attention to me?'

"Let's take a quick break to make sure our phones are where we think they are."

'And do you promise to offer free, unlimited tech support?'

Ascent of Digital Man

"I hate to burst your bubble, but Google has replaced you as man's best friend."

"I can't afford to lose my phone. I've assigned it talismanic properties."

Which useless activity are you doing on your electronic pacifier right now? My what? Your electronic pacifier, your soother. Your binky. My iPhone is not a "binky." It's an indispensable tool, essential to keeping the busy, modern life running like a well-oiled machine. You can't stand to experience a single moment devoid of activity. Solitude makes you agitated, lonely, bored or insecure. Anytime you feel bad, you reach for your phone. It's your binky. My Twitter followers agree with me that yo

"You've got computer-breath."

"It's fantastic! I can find out the exact weather outside this exact house at this exact moment - all on the internet!"

'I've decided to centralize my operations. Everything will be in my ipad.'

STRIP Hambone: Computer addict

'Two weeks to live? That can't be right -- I have 500 free hours from AOL!'

"Do you realize that when you talk to artificial intelligence, you sound like artificial intelligence?"

Move closer so I can read by the light of your iPad. (This cartoon was originally published on 2011-03-16)

If I'm your best friend, why haven't you friended me on Facebook?

Tonight, on "Cops," a local man leads police on a high-speed chase through Best Buy. It all began when clerks noticed he was coming in every day to upgrade different obsolete items. When he ran out of his own obsolete hardware, he began rummaging through other customers' pockets looking for old cellphones to upgrade. He zoomed free, but cops had no trouble tracking the perp down. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't be Rudy. Please don't - Maybe next time "Rudy" will think twice before personalizi