Digital Communication Jester Gifts

Help! Kid's text messaging charges.'

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

"They want to put up a new cell tower in our neighbourhood?! We don't need more of those radio emission eyesores here! I'm gonna complain... ...as soon as I have better signal strength."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Hardware and software

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

Bad Interview Technique

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

Is this Randy the Love Doctor? Speaking. What ails you, brother? My wife doesn't have a job. The other night she told me it'd be nice if I helped out a little more at home. So I replied "hey, I don't ask you to come to my place of business and do my job for me." I see. Have you tried the "act like I never said it and wait for her to forget it" routine? Yes, sir. I also, tried the "don't-make-eye-contact-until-she-forgets-it" maneuver. I'm running out of ideas.

Student - Haven't emailed in 2 days.

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"Hello?"

Nanopsychiatry.

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"I was just ringing to see if you got the e-mail about the letter I sent you?"

To begin, click on the bread crumb icon.

'No, I wouldn't like a free quote for central heating! Where did you get this number?'

"Hold music will return after we pause for a commerial"

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

"There's something you should know about me."

Sorry, you've been replaced by an app.

Texting Rodeo Clown

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

'It's for you.'

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

'Isn't that kind of thing generally frowned upon in the real mob.'

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

'Not cars. here we're testing oblivious texters walking into walls.'

Cyber crime.

"Elijah didn't hear God's voice in the powerful wind, or in the earthquake, or the fire, but just then a call came in on his cell..."