Digital Court Jester Gifts

Impersonal computer

'I request an postponement, Your Honor -- I have to study for my bar exams.'

'Look -- I'm willing to forget about all this if you are.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

'How about a game of cards?'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

'It wasn't long before Larry realized his calling as a lawyer whisperer...'

"He's actually my co-counsel, but you may scratch his head."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"So what's this special distracting tactic you've developed?"

Supreme Court. It's either constitutional or unconstitutional - We don't use a scale of one to ten!

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

Hardware and software

"Objection, your honor, my client's feelings are being hurt."

"I say we move on to dessert."

A baby in court

Basketball.

Portrait of a Serial Attorney.

'They named special prosecutors to investigate each other.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

The Scones-Monkey Trial. I, Judge Sadie, am prepared to rule. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Intelligent design versus evolution. Borrrinnng. That is my legal finding. Appeal. Will all bipeds please rise.

'He's not called the 'Hanging About Judge' for nothing.'

'Court is in recess for one hour. Everyone convene on the playground and we will choose sides for dodgeball!'

Justice 4 Ron

"Your Honor, prior to sentencing, if it please the court, I'd like to make just a few brief remarks about pâte brisée."

"Another slander suit!"

'Oh, he's been a bad dog all right - why else would he lawyer up?'

'Your Honor, we've decided to go with the inanity defense...'

'That will be 100 hours of community service in some other community.'

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

'Captain, we're going to have to ask you to stop spiking the ball.'

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'It's all just an unfortunate misunderstanding, Your Honor, it was 'Talk Like a Pirate' day, and,,,,'

"Are you trying to show contempt for this court."