Digital Age Jester Gifts

Nanopsychiatry.

'Click on 'Help'.'

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

Online form - Submit.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

"Since he got that thing, he mostly just kills time."

"Phyllis, this isn�t my laptop..."

Hardware and software

'...And, from what I understand, they don't have any hard drive at all.'

'To make up for the decline in snail mail deliveries, I've taken to biting my master every time he gets an e-mail.'

Bad Interview Technique

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

'Phone for help? Are you mad? Have you any idea how much it costs to use a mobile abroad?'

"I think someone put Bob on vibrate."

"My Twitter account isn't too interesting. It's mostly just a bunch of threats."

'Please pay attention. Pretend I'm a movie on your phone.'

"I only have two apps on my phone. One makes me spend all my money and the other gives me embezzling tips."

"Hi, I'm the new IT-security-expert! Where is your server room? I want to see if I can overcome your firewall!"

"Stick with CAPS LOCK and SHIFT keys. You are not ready for CONTROL AND COMMAND!"

Error: Out of memory.

'Of course, simple mistakes can be done by anybody, but to really mess up things, you need a specialist: me, the IT consultant!'

"We're having a problem naming him. All the domain names we like are already taken!"

"Let's just say that you're not trending on any site on the internet!"

Texting Rodeo Clown

"How come all your alcohol is behind a paywall?"

"It's terminal? Brill, I was worried my YouTube channel was loosing it edge."

"Hold on, I have an announcement. Facebook password Missywillow 555, please move your car or it will be towed."

Cyber crime.

Cow Printer