Dietician With A Sense Of Humor Gifts

Health Shop: 'Got anything more exciting?' 'Sure, under the counter we've got beefburgers and chips...and cream cakes!'

'That robin has over indulged.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I'll be fielding any questions you may have and my assistant, Carol, will be googling the answer."

'The customer is always right...'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

Heart Disease Menu

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

"Well, then - two apples a day."

Surgery Instructions.

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Free Range Chickens

I grew up vegetarian. Wow. That takes work to stay strong. What motivates you? Hey, lettuce brain! Peer pressure.

'I had this two years ago.'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids