Dietician With A Sense Of Humor Pillows

Health Shop: 'Got anything more exciting?' 'Sure, under the counter we've got beefburgers and chips...and cream cakes!'

'That robin has over indulged.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

'The customer is always right...'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Heart Disease Menu

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

"Well, then - two apples a day."

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

Free Range Chickens

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"They used to call them G.P.s."

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

'I had this two years ago.'

'My parents are giving up desserts for Lent, so I'm balancing the family diet by giving up vegetables.'

'It's a simple matter of checks and balances: your waistline has spread and your brain has shrunk.'

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

"Really, yes, I'm on a diet too: I need to almost double my summer weight before the start of the winter hibernation..."

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"