Dealing With Houseguests Gifts

"I got a call about some overstaying guests."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Brew?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

Mattress sale

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'Yes it's the brides prerogative to be late, but not a week.'

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'

'Your job is to see that no one interrupts while I'm on a roll.'