Welcoming Guests At Home Gifts

"I think the air mattress is telling us that he overstayed his welcome."

"It's a new countertop draft system for craft beer!"

Beware of the Dog Hair.

"Oh look—he fell asleep when you told me about your day."

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"5...4...3...2..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'You know, this is the 2nd bottle of this I've opened, and I still have no idea what it tastes like.'

'Well, he certainly has his Father's vocabulary.'

"We were sad last year when we couldn't have the whole family over for the holidays, right?"

'Brew?'

'It's got worse than just the occasional sploosh from a wine box, hasn't it?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

"Why, it's Daphne—home from Foxcroft."

"Once upon a time...long ago...before TV..."

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"These days, many people can only afford to drink from home."

Breastfeeding in public

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Take no notice...he just likes the sound of his own voice.'

A surprise visit

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'