House Guest Gifts

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

Just a minute..

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

'Now here's a place I like!'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"I can tell it's new because it's alive."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

'Brew?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

'Now you behave yourself and don't throw and infestation while we're gone.'

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

Thanks for house sitting!

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

Guest Houses.

'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

I had hoped to file a missing persons report by now, but he won't leave.