Guest House Owner Gifts

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Use your imagination.

'We earn extra money by renting out your office at night.'

'Now here's a place I like!'

The native sweet bay species will make a beautiful grove. They'll give you pleasure and increase your house value! Tree's tree nursery. Hmm

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

The Big Book of Suspicious Crawl Spaces

'I thought I would rent it out for the extra dough.'

'You had to put a skylight in didn't you?'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

New Hampshire Minute

'For Sale by Neighbor'

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"The pH level seems a little off."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'How much did you say we'd be saving by buying a wood-burning stove?'

How's this mulch for improving my soil? Not good. It's full of toxic wood chips. They poison the dirt and don't decompose. Just what I need. Subprime loam.

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

Ino & Frieda's 'Bed and Bagel'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

The Climate Change Debate Explained

"Moat? No - sump pump crapped out."

Ed discovers that building his greenhoue outside the leftfield wall was a huge mistake!

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'

William and Real Estate

'You don't know how lucky you are. My mortgage is worth more than my house.'

'If you promise to never try to openthe locked attic door, the owner will take $20,000 off!'

"Decaf for me, Peter."

Man in woods sees sign, 'No Trespassing', next to 'Go Ahead - Make Our Day!'

"As the owner of a hotel chain, I found being shipwrecked quite a challenge."

'One good thing about this place is that I can honestly say I own everything as far as the eye can see.'