Hosting A Guest Gifts

Punchline: Another weekend ruined by an unexpected houseguest.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

"They make an awfully big thing of cookouts."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

'Thanks for having us and I'm really sorry about the cheeseball. Honestly, I didn't realise I was meant to share it.'

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"When we grow up we can eat snacks BEFORE dinner and call them hors d'oeuvres!"

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

"Thanks for inviting us over to try out your new hot tub!"

"I think that before we put the flat on AirBnb we should have moved out."

'Brew?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

'I'm getting really tired of your friend crashing here every night!'

"You really whipped it in there."

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

'Surprise!'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

"You should have been more specific when you booked a room with a sea view."