Dealing With House Guests Gifts

'Darling... after two weeks at your sister's she's finally given us a set of scales.'

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

Wedding Selfie

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

Although in hindsight, maybe she said feed the cat and water the plants.

'You wished to see the house red?'

'Brew?'

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

'I'm the bride's ex boyfriend. Before she says yes, can I just tell her that I've just won the lottery jackpot?!'

Groom flees wedding

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

A bride and groom hold their guests up with the wedding cake knife.

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

Bathroom Fashion

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

'Yes it's the brides prerogative to be late, but not a week.'