Visiting Guests Gifts

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Beware of the Dog Hair.

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

'Couldn't you think of anything to say to Herb and Mary? They were nice enough to invite us over.'

'So much for your theory that mixing two 50-point-rated wines equals one rated 100.'

'Next!'

"We've combine the recovery area with the gift shop... just in case your visitors want to pick up a little souvenir."

"Why on earth do you insist on coming to this miserable, isolated, rocky, small island every year to roost? It's covered in guano! Disgusting..."

'If your name's not on the Liszt, you're not coming in.'

'Haven't seen you in church lately John?'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'

'Hey hon, everyone and their dog is here!'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

Swing by won't you?

Hospital Visit

'Brew?'

'So Grandma's arrived then.'

'Let's arbitrate.'

'Boy, this is a no-nonsense kind of place, isn't it?'

'I don't think they are playing with a full deck.'

'Hey, a pot...ted plant. Bless you, my man.'

'What do you mean you 'don't like curry'?!!'

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

"Have some more tea, Mrs. Van Sickleford. Wendell is going to show you his mastodon tusk."

Old lady at the door

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'the tire and swinging vine was for the children; the 800 pounds of bananas were when mother visited us last week.'

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

'Relax buddy'.Said the messenger of death.' This is just a Grim Reaper-a-gram.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'