Dealing With Houseguests T-Shirts

"I got a call about some overstaying guests."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Would you folks like sparkling water or tap water?'

"Boy am I in trouble! How was I supposed to know that what I was scratching is called a "Wedding Dress"? She's so mad right now!"

'I'm the groom's broker and I'll be seating you before the ceremony begins. Technical analysts will be sitting on the left, and fundamental analysts will be on the right.'

"Before I say, I do. Just let me run those vows past my best lawyer."

"This should be cozy. Just let me know if you need an extra sousaphone."

'And do you, Desiree, take plan B to be your lawfully wedded...'

'Oh, yes. We often have people around when my Wife cooks... Usually, the fire brigade.'

'Oh, that's Corky's way of saying hello.'

'Brew?'

'You wished to see the house red?'

Mattress sale

'Yes,that's right-just a stone's throw from the beach...'

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"I think they're trying to tell us we've stayed to long."

"Has anybody seen the groom?"

"Wow, I can't believe it's already time for you guys to pick up on social cues that we'd like you to leave."

'I must warn you our food isn't as good as you would find in a garbage can.'

'I've got to go - we're having the zebras for dinner.'

"As my late husband, here, used to say...."

Fluffy was never quite the same after Aunt Ruby's visit.

"You really whipped it in there."

'Joan of Arc is visiting - make sure all the toilet seats are down.

'Roger hates goodbyes.'

'Keep carving, there are still a few identifiable parts.'

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

'Thank you for folding up the sleeper sofa, Dear. Have you seen Mother?'

'Yes it's the brides prerogative to be late, but not a week.'

'Oognik! -- If I'd known you were coming, I'd have harpooned a whale!'

'It's a guest tooth brush!!! You're not the only guest we've ever had, Dale!'

'You simply must eat at No 47! Their meal worm mix is to die for!'

'Your job is to see that no one interrupts while I'm on a roll.'

'I told you she is a bad cook - that's just defrosting the chips.'