Deal Sceptic Gifts

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Fifty years in academia, studying, researching, writing and teaching. And what do they call me? ‘The Human AI’."

Cupid misses his shot.

Domestic Spying Drones

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

Yes, but.

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Cold caller.

With-it Woman

"It's from a girl in my class. Should I be thinking about a prenup?"

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"