Deal Sceptic Gifts

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

"I do love you, Jerry, but it's somewhere below the conscious level."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

Cupid misses his shot.

Domestic Spying Drones

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'Would you like to come in for a rejection?'

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"Good. I can hardly see your Catholic parents now."

With-it Woman

"Oh, you were on automatic pilot? And what about her? Was she on automatic pilot, too?"

"If only I liked you a little more and you liked like me a little less."

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

Yes, but.

'You remind me of my ex-ex-ex.'

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"I tolerate you too. With all my heart."

Cold caller.

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'No wonder the divorce rate is so high!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.