Sale Skeptic Gifts

Save up to 100% when you don't buy anything.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

Cold caller.

"Multi-level marketing!"

Weight Gain Denial

"I gained 10 pounds? I've brought my own bathroom scale for a second opinion."

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

'No, it's not water. You seem to be retaining food.'

Woman and scales.

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

"I wouldn't have to go on a diet if we hadn't gone metric."

Please seat to be weighted.

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Sales company

'Your weight second opinion.'

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

'LIAR!'

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

'...I know it's a good discount but we don't need double glazing!'

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

End Of Consumer Confidence Sale

"They're 60 per cent wool, 30 per cent nylon, 35 percent interest..."

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

'Why do I think that someone has made up these numbers?'

'Wine and food doesn't go to waste in this hous, but it does go to waist.'

'No matter what you do, you can't cheat a bathroom scale...'

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

'You lie!'

Lady getting her weight taken and machine exploding under pressure.

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'