Sales Skeptic Gifts

Sidewalk sign holder holding sign that says 'Save 100%! (don't buy it).

'It's not a sale. It's a threat.'

Sales company

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

"But it says here your product has a life time guarantee...so why do I need an extended warranty?"

'...I know it's a good discount but we don't need double glazing!'

'Why do I think that someone has made up these numbers?'

"They're 60 per cent wool, 30 per cent nylon, 35 percent interest..."

Cold caller.

'There's a special offer. The standard 50p tin of beans has been reduced from 70p to 60p...'

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Multi-level marketing!"

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

'CROOOAX! If we ever want to sell this damned parrot, we better not anybody what he has done to his previous owners... CROOOAX! If we ever want...'

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"Oh, we only use them when simple PR won't do."

"We can see that you just bought a fridge and thought you might be interested in a fridge."

'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"

"They're becoming very pushy these doorstep salesmen."

"But cats love it in the commercials!" "They're acting!"

"I'll write your a prescription for a medication that's been recommended in three out of four commercials."

"24 hour service. Yes, that's how long it takes us to prepare your pub lunch."