Sales Skeptics Gifts

'The answer is still no. I'm not interested!'

"Are they really fresh?"

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"In layman's terms, it's £12,750."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Multi-level marketing!"

Cold caller.

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

Sales company

"I was supposed to prepare your year-end review but I figured youe sales chart would just save me the trouble."

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

'...I know it's a good discount but we don't need double glazing!'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

'Why do I think that someone has made up these numbers?'

"They're 60 per cent wool, 30 per cent nylon, 35 percent interest..."

'Well, I'm AGAINST adding a course in business methods to the curriculum....

"It means a chieftain tank of petrol."

"Oh, we only use them when simple PR won't do."

"We can see that you just bought a fridge and thought you might be interested in a fridge."

'Before sending these ideas I have to the boss, run them past legal, my Ouija board and my magic 8 ball.'

'What's wrong with me today? I actually served a customer...'

"But cats love it in the commercials!" "They're acting!"

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"

"I'll write your a prescription for a medication that's been recommended in three out of four commercials."

"They're becoming very pushy these doorstep salesmen."

"No for your lifetime, just for ITS..."

"Wheels and an engine? Now you're talking sports package."

Extended warranty on the sales guy.

'At least you know exactly where you stand with a dealer like Bob.'