Marketing Skeptic Gifts

Spring Water - 0% Trans Fats.

'By opening this envelope, and taking out this letter you have voluntarily agreed to buy product...'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

"Grandma's homemade ice cream" polluting factory

"On the web it clearly said, 'one mile from the beach'."

'Yeah, just like the ad said - they have more blackjack tables than any other casino.'

"It's a sandwich you don't really want plus a drink you can't stand and a snack you're trying to give up."

Guaranteed to revitalize your hair! Other than that, you're on your own.

"Coconut shampoo?"

"This says I will lose 4 times the fat. Do you know what that means?!"

"Multi-level marketing!"

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

You tell me how they know it has new and improved flavour!

"But cats love it in the commercials!" "They're acting!"

'It's not fair. You have classes and pep talks on selling and I have to resist all on my own.'

Bottled water has no trans fats.

"Got any lightbulbs that WON'T BE the last ones I'll ever buy?"

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"He's not a big fan of micromanaging."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

CATCHY NAME

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

'I have great job security since management doesn't even know I work here.'

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

Cold caller.

Confident Business Team - We Know We Can

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"It's as though everything nice about you had been just some kind of introductory offer."

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Cash Rebate

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."