Commercial Skeptics Gifts

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

"Next time, don't call me at 3 a.m. to ask if a pill you saw on late night TV is right for you!"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Roads with a view.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

Privatized Jails

"Can you give me your opinion on the 'Paid for' magazines debate?" "Sure...but it will cost you"

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

"Multi-level marketing!"

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

With-it Woman

Cold caller.

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'The following program was made possible by a totally unscrupulous sponsor....'

Cash Rebate

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING