Commercial Skeptics Gifts

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

"Next time, don't call me at 3 a.m. to ask if a pill you saw on late night TV is right for you!"

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

The Solar System (after deregulation)

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Roads with a view.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Actually, Mama was her third word. Buy Now were her first two.

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

Privatized Jails

'Oh, the guru is up on the next peak -- I'm his agent.'

"Can you give me your opinion on the 'Paid for' magazines debate?" "Sure...but it will cost you"

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

"Halloween stuff already? It's August!"

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"Multi-level marketing!"

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Cold caller.

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'

"It must be near New Year's Day...There are Easter eggs in the shop windows!"

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Cash Rebate

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

"My only hope is that future generations honor this day of independence with a huge one-day sale."