Advertising Skeptics Gifts

Brighter than white laundry soap.

"Tell me again. Is this just a fast food burger or an iconic fast food burger."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

Generic Store: Sign in Window

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

CATCHY NAME

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

Seatback in upright position, fasten safety belt, listen closely...prepare to be bombarded with promotional advertising through the rest of the flight!

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

Look! This says that space aliens have landed and have taken over control of the earth. Boy that's a load off my mind!

"Multi-level marketing!"

Posters of the Sahara

"We upped the protein by simply factoring in the permissible level of insect parts."

"To be honest, it's the same stuff just in different bottles!"

"Sale. Save 100% of your energy by closing this website. Close now. No, thanks."

"Do you suffer from bald spots? Try 'Branches in a Can'!!"

Dodgy Marketing

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"We've checked, and it's fine with women."

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

"If my mother and father had wanted to see Yves Saint Laurent's initials on my possessions, one supposes they would have named me Yves Saint Laurent."

Adjusted sales pitch: 'Congratulations! You may already be a non-winner.'

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

"Why is that? Are you not confident that you'd be able to do it properly?"

Cash Rebate

"But your room does have a sea view, it's 43 miles over there behind the power station."

'No, the nude scene isn't essential to the plot, but we need it for the posters.'

'But first... a word from Mount Sinai National Bank.'

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.