Advertising Skeptic Gifts

"The improvement is the higher price."

"This looked cooler in the commercials."

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'How come when you vacuum, you don't smile like the women in TV commercials?'

"It's flu season, so you'll probably get sick. To repeat: You... will... get... sick. And when you do, there's Helpaflu."

"CATS LOVE IT?! Who in the world writes this nonsense?"

"Thanks to Trump, no one cares if we lie now in our advertisements or press releases."

"This commercial convinced me that I'm suffering from myrophlegitis..."

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'That's the tenth time this week you've received a 'Once in a lifetime' offer!'

'Advertisers target everyone except me.'

'If anyone were to ask me, I'd say this sponsorship business was going too far.'

"Look at him. Walking around like he's God's Gift to erectile dysfunction."

'Kids, here I am, all hooked up to this lie detector, ready to tell you all about Zapples, the exciting new breakfast cereal...'

'Can I help it if I have to eat 15 bowls of my cereal to equal Total?'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"It's not as good a deal as it sounds - it's based on THEIR lifetime."

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"Everyone, please welcome our new VP of being promoted and paid lots more than you for no apparent reason!"

Why do you hate the media?

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Classic News.

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

CATCHY NAME

Girl's weight issues.

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"This bedtime story is brought to you by your good friends at the toy shop."

"And what would the, Truth-in-Advertising tribunal, want to speak to old Rudy about?"