Commercial Skeptic Gifts

"I'll write your a prescription for a medication that's been recommended in three out of four commercials."

'Your magnified images will resume after these messages...'

TV remotes.

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

Studies show foods work miracles!

CIA report

Stop! Stop what? Do not change the channel! Sex, death, harrowing footage of the most remarkable story you've ever seen, tattoos, rock-n-roll, action, action, action! It's all coming right up, right after this five second break for station identification. Five seconds ... You're watching Rock Television. And now back to our ... bored. Welcome to ABC. We've got thrills, action, more thrills ... Click. I've got your action right here. We've created a monster. Click click click click click cl-

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

Why do you hate the media?

"If CEO pay packets aren't a problem, why doesn't everyone get one?"

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

Classic News.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

CATCHY NAME

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

"This just in: you thought joy was within reach, but you were wrong."

Next semester I have "The Frito-lay

"Climate change is not real. It's fake climate!"

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

No Unknown Unknowns

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

Cold caller.

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

The following story is based on actual events.

"Multi-level marketing!"

With-it Woman

Hey boss, that generic soap you gave me isn't really cleaning the cups. Mind if I go get some brand name stuff? Are you insane? There's zero difference between generic and brand name products. Corporate America just cons people into thinking "you get what you pay for." Don't be a stooge, Rudy. Don't fall for it. Now get in there and scrub those cups, minion! Strike a blow for the little guy against corporate lies! Wait ... I'm very confused. Are you a right-winger or a left-winger? You mean in w

"Now remember...no lies about the government...only lies from the government."