Infomercial Skeptic Gifts

"You can't learn the path to financial independence from just ANY infomercial."

'Never, Ever...be fooled by tv infomercials.'

The Solar System (after deregulation)

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"Brilliant report, I can't tell where the facts and the fiction begins"

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

'We raised the price, so at least as far as we're concerned it's new and improved.'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

are you so alienated from any real form of community that you can no longer distinguish between belonging and conforming?

'Today the house voted for a timeline, the sentate voted for benchmarks, and Halliburton voted for staying the course.'

"Do you want to ruin me?! Take it away!!"

"Multi-level marketing!"

With-it Woman

'If there's one thing I've learnt being a manager,it's taking credit where it isn't due!'

Our Mission: "Who are we trying to kid? It's just one day at a time around here!"

"Monsieur Proust, we would like to discuss product placement for one of our cakes...."

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

'Downsizing through attrition will work if enough employees will cooperate and die.'

Where Are They Now?

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

"It's really a lateral transfer, Crampton, From 'Nobody' to 'Flunkie'."

And if it's successful, we'll do an infomercial.

Cash Rebate

Profit can be a silly thing, but your boss thinks it is everything.

'Perhaps we would be better off with fewer fans on Facebook and Twitter, and more on Visa and Mastercard!'

'Well, if you consider normal corporate surveillance, interrogation, and harassment 'union-busting,', nothing I have to say will change your mind.'

"Your brochure led me to believe it'd have a more temperate climate."

Headphones Strip 18: Shared profits

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'Hi Mr Miller, this is the employee opinion poll. Here's the question: 'Do you love your job, your boss and the company?' For answer A, 'Yes, I do and I want to do much more unpaid overtime', please press 1. For answer B, 'No, I don't and you can fire me'

"Every complaint should be seen as a learning opportunity, today you’re going to learn where to hide them."

"The improvement is the higher price."