Price Skeptic Gifts

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

Alcohol Related Crime.

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

Euro fall...

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

Cold caller.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Guide to Working Class Investing

'No 'Natural Environment,' next 127 miles - Govt. test study.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Moanathon.