Price Skeptic Pillows

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

Alcohol Related Crime.

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Bernard Madhoff $50-billion Ponzi financial scheme.

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'So, a bailout is like a Ponzi scheme for automakers?'

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'I've been in Washington for 30 years, and that's the biggest rathole I'VE ever seen!'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

'There's no correlation to stock prices. It's just a 'feel good' graph.'

Euro fall...

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

We lost money in every division, but through the magic of accounting, our Take A Penny Leave A Penny trays earned $46 million.

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

Cold caller.

"What're you doing? Your contract forbids you from watching 'cute baby video' on YouTube."

'Stocks dropped today, proving once again that life sucks.'

'Great speech on the future of the economy. You said nothing with great conviction.'

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

"This investment will make a pile of money. Of course, a good question is 'for whom?'"

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'No 'Natural Environment,' next 127 miles - Govt. test study.'

Be thankful we didn't invest social security funds in the stock market.

'Consumer confidence is up.. in the 'Money in the mattress' sector.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

Moanathon.

Sales company