Price Skeptics Pillows

Gas Prices

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Screwdriver labelled 'Buyer' and screw labelled 'seller'.

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'If congress regulates obscene bonuses, isn't that a violation of the first amendment?'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Beef Stew.

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Moanathon.

'My work is based on a version of the truth, but I believe the truth to be fluid...'

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

EuroPygmees

"Remember, we must project the illusion that our main responsibility is to our stockholders."

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'. . . What if we sell Britain as an offshore platform to the EU and lease it back from them?'

'Since stocks are so wacko now,I'm advising clients to go with their lucky numbers on lotto tickets.'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

Bloody HS2

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

Victims of Financial Consultant's

'You don't see banks with the name 'Trust' any more.'

"Expensive? Yes, but I don't exploit my mother."

'If we only had a mailing address, we could get a pre-approved credit card application.'