Inflation-skeptic Pillows

'This is a real miracle drug. It costs the same this year as it did last year.'

Sen. Krupt. I don't tell constituents that we're fueling inflation. I say we're protecting consumers and thanks to us they won't have to worry about buying any cheap stuff.

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

Stock market investment advice

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"Everything's gone up."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

How Trickle Down Economics Work

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

Euro fall...

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Do you mind? I'm reading the prospectus carefully before investing."

'Forty pounds for a round of drinks! Prices have gone up since you last bought a round.'

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

EuroPygmees

'I sold my house and got what I paid for it. But you bought it in 1962.'

'It's not a Ponzi scheme. It's a Ponzi FUND.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

'. . . What if we sell Britain as an offshore platform to the EU and lease it back from them?'

'IBM is up two, Google is up one-half and your prune-Danish is up one buck.'

Bloody HS2

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

Be nice to Erdogan

"How about telling me where you buried the loot? With inflation and all, it won't be worth much when you get out."

'Inflation allows us to live in a more expensive neighbourhood with even moving.'

"Remember the good ol' days when the house was earning more than the two of us?"

Truth in labeling: If it sounds too good to be true. . . investments, stocks, bonds & mutual funds - formally fly-by nite investments.