Inflation Skeptics Pillows

"How's this? A refinery in Texas has an infestation of crickets."

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"No, I'm not really a CEO. I just like to keep up with the Joneses."

"Everything's gone up."

'Whenever they discuss trickle-down economics, I have to go to the bathroom.'

'If America's economy is so bad how can we afford a billion dollars on presidential campaigns?'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

This horse isn't dead. It's just sleeping.

Deposits insured by the U.S. Government (which has a $4.2 trillion debt).

'In an effort to make our economic reporting and projections more accurate, our resident weatherman will be delivering the economic news.'

'Water into wine is certainly impressive. D'you do water into petrol?'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Assets $2,400,000,000 Liabilities $4,6000,000,000 Government Bailout $2,200,000,000

How Supply-Side Economics Works.

"Remember, we must project the illusion that our main responsibility is to our stockholders."

EuroPygmees

'We can tell the public, ' the good news is we've eliminated the middleman, The bad news is we've eliminated a lot of other jobs.''

'Forty pounds for a round of drinks! Prices have gone up since you last bought a round.'

'Our survey shows there's more confidence in shopping coupons that the dollar...'

'IBM is up two, Google is up one-half and your prune-Danish is up one buck.'

'. . . What if we sell Britain as an offshore platform to the EU and lease it back from them?'

'Since stocks are so wacko now,I'm advising clients to go with their lucky numbers on lotto tickets.'

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

Bloody HS2

Gordon Brown is making money.

UK Economy

"I don't know a damn thing about monetary policy,but I know what I like."

"How about telling me where you buried the loot? With inflation and all, it won't be worth much when you get out."

"For clients with an extremely low risk tolerance, I recommend they talk to someone with a ground-floor office."

"Remember the good ol' days when the house was earning more than the two of us?"

Victims of Financial Consultant's

'You don't see banks with the name 'Trust' any more.'

'If we only had a mailing address, we could get a pre-approved credit card application.'

'We've heard that you don't have a debt. Please come with us, sir, you're under arrest because of being an unpatriotic domestic demand saboteur.'