Fee Skeptic Gifts

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

The contract was not worth the paper it was written on, which considering the paper was not a good sign.

Euro fall...

"I dreamed last night that I was furious at you for charging me for missing last week's session. What do you think it means?"

The private sector is a parasite on the economy.

My definition of 'quality time?'...charging $500 per hour.

"Remember, our do-nothing congress never raised your taxes!"

"There's a $2.00 service fee for that friendly greeting."

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."

'I hear your fees are very reasonable.'

"You forgot to read the small print Mr Burrows. My charges are ten pounds a letter and you have two hundred and thirty three on this page."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

"This is our newest drug. It's currently undergoing rigorous testing to see how much we can charge."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

'What do our service charges cover? -- people who ask too many questions!'

"As you know, Ed, my pockets are considerably deeper than yours. Therefore, in addition to my share I'll be needing a percentage of yours."

"Don't worry son, there are no such things as vampires, wish I could say the same about Gordon Brown..."

'Seventy three percent of statistics are made up on the spot.'

The Euro? No, thank you!

"There's a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It's called corporate banking."

"It's time once again for Jesus to chase the money changers from the temple."

'Ruddy customers have NO idea of the costs power companies have to cover!'

Is this all you earned? We're fighting a war to protect your right to earn more.

"It's the bill for our pay rise."

'Deposit $1.00 - This is your final notice before we send it to a collection agency.'

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"And Boris caims all his spending plans will be financed by winnings on investing £1000 a week in Eurolottery tickets..."

Attorney basic fees.

Look thru the hole to see budget savings: 'I don't see anything in there...'

'There's no money to provide 'Care in the Community'...but we have just enough to move him into the carpark!'

Everyone smile and say FEES

'Since you just came in to say hello, there'll only be a nominal service charge.'

"This charge is for your monthly service fee and this charge is because you didn't have it."