Dating Disaster Diva Pillows

Hi, I'm Lars Fusco, and I've got a bottle of wine back at my house that has your name on it. What makes you think my name is "Thunderbird"?

'Big date tonight, but I've just shed an antler: Do you have superglue?'

"Za Za Bling Bling goes man hunting."

"Good evening, I'm your date. Let me begin by saying I'm sorry I'm late, I'm sorry I'm bald and I'm sorry I'm short."

Social butterfly

Colin had heard that women liked honesty in men.

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

"My love for you knows no bounds, Trish."

'My Mother makes me wear this - It's my name and address in case I get lost.'

He couldn't put his finger on it but something told Colin the date wasn't going well.

"I walked up to this hot girl with two drinks in my hands, and she turned to me, smiled and said, are you lost, Grandpa? The toilets are back there."

Father-in-law - Break glass in case of emergency

"I know what's going on here - you just want to enrich my microbiome."

"How come I always pick the bastards?"

"I'm trying to decide between a cocktail with a cute name and one that's blatantly sexual."

'Hand me your issue of esquire. I have a hot date.'

'Do you know what men and pantyhose have in common? They both run, cling, or don't fit properly.'

'Baz? How the hell can you be 'going out' with an agoraphobic?!'

"So now I guess I'll have to meet your friends."

Tom suspected the date wasn't going as well as he'd hoped when she asked for the Emergency exit.

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

Fortunately, she backed up her files and ejected the disk, saving the data.

'Talk about a disastrous blind date: A quick look at her teeth told me she was a lot older than she said...'

'So, your place, or my mother's.'

"We already demolished that!"

'Do you think I'm over-dressed? Its a first date.'

'Edna, we're late! You don't have time for a second coat!'

Twenty thousand leagues out of his league

OK, I'm a little shallow, but I'm meaningful.

A young man creating an awkward silence

'Reading between the lines Colin began to suspect that a second date was unlikely!'

"A MacArthur, the lecture circuit, and thou!"

"Actually, in my younger days, I was really a Wildman."

But I told you I just wanted to be friends. Sue. Ed.