Dating Divas Pillows

Blind date with girl with elephant trunk for nose

'He's cute but immature. He asked me over for a play date.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Life is for the birds.

"May I have this arythmic flail?"

"I'll bet your're a Taurus. Right?"

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Give us a drink that says "we're in love." Oh no, not again. Today's Special. Latte + 1hr web $12.50. We're back together. We're celebrating. Give us my darling pudding pie's favorite drink. A cinnamon mocha latte with a peppermint lollipop swizzle stick. Excuse me?! That is not my favorite drink ... dear. My favorite drink is a cinnamon mocha latte with a spearmint lollipop swizzle stick ... dear. I am so sorry ... snookums. How could I have possibly been so heartless and thoughtless as to con

Speed Dating for Turtles

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Romance

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

So Close..

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"When you say that love is in the air, you're referring to the smells from the food trucks, right?"

Right click for yes...

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

"You should be sniffed, and often, by someone who knows how."

'Cow in love'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

Why we need poetry. . .

Carbon Dating.

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

'We have a beautiful relationship. Why spoil it with a hug?'

"Let's talk film or let's not talk film - I'm easy."

"Sure, it's more efficient. But I still miss shooting the arrows."

"Call me?"

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"