Dairy-free Dreamer Gifts

The Nihilist Deli.

"This increase in lactose-intolerant people is good for us: We can sell more milk..."

Cheese

"You keep fumblin' with that bra, Cowboy, and you're never gettin' to second base."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

World of Cow.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Yoghurt man

What if he could be 'churned' to the dark side?

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

Diet Sugar House.

Christmas Cow.

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

Moon Cheese

Cows From The Streets

"There were days he could kill for a piece of tofu."

'Dad, you told me to use my initiative if I needed money so I sold a cow.'

'I did that once and my butter fat went up forty percent.'

Aways read the small print.

'They're individual cheese slices, Harry. We knew that sooner or later they would want to go free.'

"My lab tests are in. I'm lactose intolerant."

Mouse, caught in trap after attempting to get cheese, says: 'That's it ??" I'm quitting dairy.'

'Look! The health food shop has been hit by the recession.'

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

Cheese in space

'My secret for long life? I've always drunk, smoked, made out with women...and hated yogurt.'

'Do you want to buy this cow from 'Windy Field Farm'?'

'I told you to cut DOWN on the vaccuum!'

'The night cows fell on Alabama.'

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

In lieu of wishbones, vegetarian children often use a slab of tofu.

"Well, I've got his test results. . . I'm afraid he's allergic to dairy!"