Dairy-free Advocate Gifts

'Couldn't you just say you're lactose-intolerant?'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Lactose Intolerant

One Man's Meat is Another Man's Poetry

'So where do you think pineapple juice comes from?'

McMorkim's Cheeses Security A gang of mice wheeling in a giant mousetrap with Pizza and Beer as bait to a Security Guard's post hoping to gain access to a cheese Factory if the Guard is trapped.

Cheeze Wiz.

Where Skim Milk comes from.

Important Food Groups

A man in a car waits for a large herd of cows to cross the road; once they have crossed he finds a cow sitting in the passenger seat of his car.

'Oh Hi!'

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Where 'Pastor'-ized Milk Comes From...

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

Milking the Cow.

Where Shaving Cream Comes From

"Wait, what are you doing?"

"Oh my god -- I can't believe it's real butter!"

'Bless You.'

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

Cheese Pile

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

Moo-Magrams Exams

'I feel like such a failure: They have to process my milk to make it low-fat...'

Cute cow drinking from a carton from Nestle

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

"Cheese is just a substitute for the love you've never given me."

The Nihilist Deli.

'How now, brown cow?'

A consumer guide to cheese.

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'