Dairy-free Enthusiast Gifts

"I am sorry about this, my husband is lactose intolerant."

Lactose Intolerant

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

The Eighth Day of Christmas

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

'You two, sort it out!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

Go Veggie...

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

'How old is the Stilton?' 'It used to be Cheddar.'

I lactate, therefore I am.

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

'Now this will be my 'watch you do the milking' stool.'

'Cream?'

'Is it true you have the best milkshakes in town?' (Cow on a pogo stick).

Empty milk bottle says to cow: 'You know what I want buddy, hand it over!'

"Are you single?

The Grim Reaper and Expired Milk