Dairy-free Enthusiast Gifts

"I am sorry about this, my husband is lactose intolerant."

Lactose Intolerant

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Grass-cream! Thanks Mum!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I think I'm lactose intolerant.'

'It's a great film Pauline, I nearly milked myself laughing.'

'Snap, crackle, help! I'm lactose intolerant!'

The Nihilist Deli.

'I'm sorry but I have to let you go, we're all drinking 2%.'

'How now, brown cow?'

'The Ailing Matisse tries cutting out meat and dairy products.'

Then I rapidly add cream and butter to the sauce. Ah, get rich quick!

The Eighth Day of Christmas

"How am I supposed to trust my gut when it can't even handle a little dairy?"

Daisy had the fastest udders in the west field.

'I've never heard of a lactose intolerant cow!'

'You two, sort it out!'

'Bovine Growth Hormone.'

Cow accidently treading on her own udder.

There's a sky full of bloated women counting on you to produce a pro-biotic yoghurt like you've never produced before!

I lactate, therefore I am.

"Don't you dare touch that snooze button!"

"Do require a certain twist, Cousin!"

'Do you mind if my son watches you cook? I'm trying to bring him up to be a vegetarian.'

'Why didn't you say you were Lactose intolerant in the first place?'

"I remember the days of skim, 1% and even 2%. Now, it's right to the whole milk section."

'How old is the Stilton?' 'It used to be Cheddar.'

Go Veggie...

'Now this will be my 'watch you do the milking' stool.'

'Cream?'

'Is it true you have the best milkshakes in town?' (Cow on a pogo stick).

"Two per cent."

"Are you single?